


heart to heart

by mallowbug



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Awkward First Times, Established Relationship, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Smut, Tender Sex, Trans Saihara Shuichi, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-18 23:07:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19344526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mallowbug/pseuds/mallowbug
Summary: Their first time would be shared together, not only as their first time with each other but with anyone, too.





	heart to heart

**Author's Note:**

> in which two virgins are in love and doing their best.
> 
> my heart and soul for this pairing... please enjoy ;w;

Together.

That’s what they agreed on, all shy smiles and mousy words. Their first time would be shared together, not only as their first time with each other but with anyone, too.

In the earlier months of their relationship, there was no mention of sex. Only Shuuichi would, on occasion, find himself considering it, but he hasn’t always had the nerve to bring it up. Gonta’s always been so _pure_ , for lack of a better word, and while Shuuichi has been morbidly (but quietly) curious as to how much the entomologist knows about sexuality, he didn’t want to feel weird or dirty asking.

Its absence has never made a difference in their enjoyment of each other, anyway. They’re both easy to please by the most wholesome means, only taking to intimacy at a slow and gradual pace. At first, even just holding hands could turn them rosy. Kissing took courage. It’s fair to say that this was all a product of infatuation as much as it was inexperience, but things have tempered with time.

They’ve gotten more used to each other and to their relationship, embracing their love as something they shouldn’t be shy about — although for Gonta and Shuuichi, of all people, suppression of shyness is easier said than done. They try things out that they haven’t before and the process starts all over again.

So on a day where things felt comfortable and right (although suspecting that he was about to ruin it), Shuuichi found a small shred of mettle within him and asked Gonta if he’d ever like to try doing… _it._ Rather, he made his way to the point in an awkward and roundabout manner, which was not the way to go with someone who requires more straightforward explanations.

At the cost of mutual embarrassment, though, they did end up on the same page. And, much to Shuuichi’s surprise, Gonta agreed. It was to his relief, too, but… He’d always figured Gonta had no interest in it.

And he wasn’t wrong—not entirely.

Gonta’s leading reason was so characteristic of him, though: If sex is another way to show Shuuichi just how much he loves him, then he’d be happy to try.

 

\--

 

It's evening, some days later (they figured they’d wait to make do on their agreement, allowing enough time to _really_ decide that they’re sure and ready). Any window blinds and shades are closed and the only light in the room they occupy is a dim but pleasant glow from bedside table lamps.

The thought of further ‘setting the mood’ with admittedly cheesy things like candles, roses, or aphrodisiacs was too embarrassing to come to fruition, so all they have is all they need: a bed, and each other.

There’s more pressure on Shuuichi than there is Gonta once they’ve compared their expertise—or lack thereof. Gonta’s knowledge on the subject leans more broadly scientific, so whereas he wouldn’t confidently know how to approach it in person (and if not stopped by ignorance, then by nervousness), Shuuichi has more of an idea. He’s familiar with things that Gonta isn’t—foreplay, different acts, positions, and so forth. Not more experienced, but less naive.  _Someone_ has to be up to the task of moving things along.

He’s nervous too, but it’s with steady hands that he touches the buttons of his shirt.

Yet before either one of them can make any progress in undressing themselves, Gonta reaches out to touch one of Shuuichi’s hands and stop him. **“Ah, hold on… How about Gonta goes first?"**

Not expecting that, Shuuichi looks up at him and blinks. It’s effective, though, in getting him to stop. He sets his hands aside and keeps them idle. ****“...Alright, if you’d like.”****

 **“It… feels like the gentlemanly thing to do,”** Gonta justifies himself, though he doesn’t sound wholly certain. He never imagined he’d be thinking about what a gentleman should or shouldn’t do in _bed_ , but…

Now with Shuuichi watching him, he mirrors what the detective was about to do and brings his fingers to his coat buttons. Each one is undone until the coat can come off, stalled only by Gonta’s own hesitation as he decides what to do with it.

 **“You can toss it on the floor, it’s fine. It’ll just be for a while,”** Shuuichi suggests, the corners of his mouth curling into the first of many small smiles tonight. Gonta doesn’t make it particularly challenging to guess what’s on his mind.

Gonta peers over the side of the bed, deciding where would be the least offensive spot to discard clothing. After conceding that no one spot on the floor is better than any other, he lets the coat drop down with a heavy-sounding plop. 

The shirt he’d been wearing underneath comes off next, no less demanding with its amount of buttons. It’s dropped beside his coat with a rather lighter sound, and so begins an official pile of clothing on the floor.

Shuuichi averts his eyes from Gonta’s shirtless body, realizing that the two of them have never gone so far as seeing each other like this. Maybe it’s a ridiculous thought, considering how long they’ve been together, but he feels as though it’d be rude to just stare at him…

 **“Gonta’s never been body-shy,”** Gonta suddenly says, drawing Shuuichi’s attention to him regardless. Despite the comment, and even with a smile, he _is_ looking fairly shy.

**“I-is that so?”**

**“It’s different this time, though… Being like this in front of you.”**

Shuuichi is trying hard to keep his gaze on his face and not on his body, but the more he keeps doing that, the more ridiculous he feels. They _are_ about to go all the way, and here he is being awkward over this…

It hits him a bit late that he should probably say something reassuring, so he clears his throat and says the first thing that comes to mind. **“A-ah, well, don’t worry… I’m going to be joining you.”**

And so he does, spending a moment removing his own buttoned top and letting it drop with everything else so far.

Their eyes meet afterward and Shuuichi lets out a breath, showing Gonta another gentle smile. **“There.”**

 **“...Now these?”** Gonta asks, his fingers hooked under the hem of his pants in indication. He looks rather serious now, but Shuuichi knows not to think too much of it. Gonta’s only trying to play things by the book.

Shuuichi could almost chuckle at the sincerity of it, though it is as intimidating—the thought of moving along too quickly, that is—as it is sincere. **“No, not… not yet.”**

He wants to put things off. Not because he doesn’t want to do those things, no — it’s more like he wants to take each step slowly, carefully, letting the experience last longer. It helps moderate his nerves, in a way.  

Taking heed of that, Gonta’s hands let his pants be and rest on the bed instead. There’s little subtlety to how expectant he looks, waiting on being told what to do as if that’s how it should be.

That’s a bit too rigid, Shuuichi thinks, if a touch hypocritically. He sighs through his nose, a soft sound, and starts moving closer. While knelt on both knees, he plants his hands on Gonta's shoulders and straddles his lap the best he can.

Through that touch alone Shuuichi can feel that Gonta’s skin is warm; warm and bare. It isn’t often that they get to feel one another this way, though Shuuichi thinks he’d like it better if the other weren’t so taut.

 **“You should relax more,”** he tells him, his words untouched by any degree of authority. It’s more of a concerned suggestion than anything else.

 **“Okay,”** Gonta replies, as if it were that easy. He wouldn’t have realized his own tension had it not been brought up to him, but his shoulders do relax with the help of slight pressure from Shuuichi’s fingers.

 **“Better.”** Shuuichi moves his hands up to Gonta’s face now, but pauses to add a **“...thank you,”** as if to make up for telling Gonta what to do.

 **“You too, right?”** Gonta says with the same affectionate inflection. Their voices are both soft, quiet as the room they’re in, and reserved only for each other. **“Won’t it be better if we’re both relaxed?”**

Shuuichi hears that and realizes he won’t be getting away with prioritizing Gonta over himself, but he shouldn’t have expected any less. It’s fine, though, as he’ll communicate with another smile.

 **“Of course,”** he says, and then with gentle swipes of his thumb begins to stroke Gonta's cheeks.

After that, the talking stops on both ends. They spend a moment looking at each other—into each other’s eyes and at each other’s lips with quick glances, waiting to see who’ll make the next move. They won’t get anywhere if they keep doing _that_ , though, and while he’s curious to see if Gonta will take initiative at all over the course of the night, Shuuichi doesn’t mind if he’s the one to do it for now.

He closes what little distance there is between their lips and kisses him. It’s familiar territory, not any further than they’ve ever ventured before.

Gonta can feel some clamminess from Shuuichi’s palms, but it isn’t enough to spoil the feeling of his hands cupping his cheeks—as if anything _would_ be. Shuuichi’s fingers are so thin and sometimes cooler than they are warm, but that isn’t the case right now. The touch is such a simple and pleasant affection that Gonta would like to give back, his bigger hands coming to rest on Shuuichi’s hips.

Shuuichi jolts, suddenly, breaking the kiss with a small sound.

It’s enough to make Gonta gasp too, removing his hands just so that they’re hovering instead of touching. **“What?”** he asks, assuming he’s done something wrong.

 **“...Ticklish,”** Shuuichi admits with an awkward breath of laughter, embarrassed by his own reaction.

 **“Oh.”** That provides relief to, but does not fully alleviate, Gonta’s worries. **“S-sorry, should Gonta not touch you?”**

 **“Of course not. I-I mean** — **of course, you** **_should_ ** **, if you want to.”** A pause, and he tries again. **“Just not so lightly, okay?”**

Gonta nods. The memory of Shuuichi’s reaction, now knowing that he was just being ticklish, makes it hard not to smile to himself. It was cute and now he’s tempted to purposely do it again, but he doesn’t.

They kiss again and, with Shuuichi more prepared for it this time, Gonta’s hands reclaim their place on the detective’s hips. The change in pressure is noticeable—it’s less of a cautious feather touch and more of a firm (yet still gentle; Gonta’s very good at managing that balance) hold.

Shuuichi waits to see if those hands will move at all, but they don’t. Part of him wants Gonta to feel more inclined to experimentation (so long as he doesn’t feel forced to do anything), and that’s exactly the part he’s going to act on. Once more he parts from Gonta’s lips, if only to murmur at him, **“...Don’t be shy, Gonta-kun. Y-you said you’re not shy about your body, so… ah, don’t be shy with mine, either.”**

That felt so bold of him to say that he’s made himself blush, half-wishing he hadn’t said it at all. A simple _“touch me more”_ could’ve sufficed (and made more sense), but that would’ve felt too forward, somehow.

It takes Gonta a second to understand and a few more to carry out what he’s been indirectly asked to do. The permission he’s been granted is something he’s relieved to have, but putting it to use is a different story when he’s just as polite and shy as Shuuichi is. But he does it — he lets his hands move, inching their way upward. He feels Shuuichi’s skin glide beneath all ten fingers as he goes; feels the padded bumps of his ribcage and the subtle curves of his body. It’s a small start, but a satisfying feeling for both of them.

Something about it gives Shuuichi a small boost of confidence, encouraging him to direct his lips further down. He starts a trail of kisses, each one soft and sweet, down the side of Gonta’s jaw.

 **“Your natural form is beautiful, Shuuichi-kun.”** There’s more to that compliment that Gonta’s too shy to say— _he’d like to see more of it._ His hands only stop roaming once he feels the other’s mouth at his neck, and Gonta finds himself tilting his head without really thinking about it.

 _Natural form, huh?_ Shuuichi muses to himself, endeared to how characteristic it is of Gonta to say something like that. But there’s no distracting him from the fact he was just called beautiful by the person whose opinion matters most to him, so he’s glad for his current position—that is, tucked somewhere where his face can't be seen. He presses his lips more firmly upon one side of Gonta’s neck instead of replying, kissing warm skin.

He can’t see Gonta—can’t see how his lips have slightly parted and how his cheeks have gone red _just_ from one kiss—but he can listen for his reaction. He tests the waters, pressing lingering, closed-mouthed kisses down a path to his shoulder.

The first sound he hears is indistinct, but it’s still something—something faint, caught between a hum and a moan. Shuuichi takes a moment to decide if it’s a good sound, but if Gonta’s doing nothing to stop him or tell him otherwise, then he assumes it's a sign to keep going.

He gets a little more daring, choosing a spot on Gonta’s neck to attempt an open-mouthed kiss. He doesn’t _confidently_ know what he’s doing and he’s more worried about his teeth than anything else, but whatever he manages—maybe it was the touch of his tongue—draws another of those noises out of Gonta, this one a bit louder than the last. It has Shuuichi feeling a tingle of arousal for the first time tonight, as does the curl of Gonta’s fingers against his shoulder blades.

Gonta was hoping the noise wasn’t too noticeable, but he was wrong. Shuuichi pulls away from his neck and views his face in time to catch him with his eyes closed, his face all red and creased with embarrassment. It’s a good kind of embarrassment, at least. Gonta opens his eyes and blinks a few times, as if coming back to his senses, and then the two of them share a tiny smile.

 **“Um… That felt nice,”** Gonta tells him, his eyes turning down.

 _Good_ , Shuuichi thinks with relief. **“...Would you like more?”**

Gonta pulls his lips inward and nods.

Happy to oblige, Shuuichi brings his head down to the other side of Gonta’s neck this time. His hands are still holding onto broad, muscular shoulders as he repeats the kissing he was doing earlier, opening and closing his mouth around warm skin and hoping he’ll hear the same feedback. He does, thankfully, and all it's doing is egging him on. He captures a particular spot of his boyfriend’s neck to suck on, feeling subtle movement beneath him as Gonta arches his back. Shuuichi doesn’t think he's getting carried away until he spots a change in skin color, realizing he’s left a mild hickey.

Ah, _whoops_ … He forgot that biting isn’t the only way to leave marks like that… In the interest of neither alarming Gonta nor ruining the mood, though, he decides not to say anything.

In any case, he can tell that they’re both starting to get more riled up. Shuuichi shamefully wonders if that means arousal for Gonta, too, but he supposes he’ll wait a few more moments to find out.

He lifts his head and their eyes meet, quiet until Shuuichi clears his throat and speaks. **“Let’s… finish undressing now.”**

**“Okay.”**

Their refusal to admit it is mutual, but they’re both eager to see each other naked.

Gonta again takes it upon himself to go first, patient enough to deal with the extra time it takes to undo the belt and the buttons on his slacks before everything else. He needs to adjust the way he’s sitting to get them all off, too, until one after the other the garments join the rest already on the floor.

He’s always preferred being naked (or _almost_ naked) to wearing clothes, but again he’s finding himself self-conscious under the gaze of someone he loves. And he’s never thought something like _this_ before, either, but he can only hope Shuuichi finds him...attractive.

Shuuichi flustering would be his way of saying yes, if he were aware of what Gonta’s thinking. All he can be aware of right now is the fact that Gonta is fully nude in front of him. He can see that he isn’t entirely aroused yet, but not entirely flaccid either.

Not that he was staring long enough to really notice, though, or anything…  

Shuuichi just clears his throat and looks away before Gonta can catch on. It’s his turn to undress himself, anyway, so he’ll get to that.

Gonta thinks little of how hesitant Shuuichi seems to be, waiting patiently while the smaller man undoes and wiggles out of his pants. Though he doesn’t need to, Gonta extends his help—which is to say that instead of asking first _if_ his help is wanted, he simply goes through with helping him. He helps slide his pants and his undergarments off and toss them to the discard pile, but it’s in that process that he can’t help noticing what he sees between Shuuichi’s legs is not what he was expecting.

Usually he’d have more shame than blatantly staring at someone’s privates like this, but it’s surprising to him. The surprise is not out of disgust, however—he’s only now worried that he’s been misgendering his own boyfriend all this time, led by his own sheltered upbringing to believe that certain body parts belong only to certain genders.

He looks up. Shuuichi is already looking at him, nervous and expectant all at once.

 **“...Shuuichi-kun is still a man?”** Gonta asks.

Shuuichi nods, but he's broken eye contact. **“Yes, I’m still a man.”**

Relief washes through Gonta. He wouldn’t _mind_ being with a woman any less than with a man, but it would’ve been humiliating to get that wrong about the person he’s been with all these months… 

But if Shuuichi says he’s still a man, then Gonta will suspend his nescience and continue seeing him that way.

Though he wouldn’t have expected a negative reaction from Gonta, really, Shuuichi can’t help his own relief. He looks back to see the same sweet smile Gonta’s been giving throughout the evening and his heart feels full.

And now that their clothes are all out of the way, Shuuichi re-assumes the position he’d taken up before — kneeling with his legs on either side of Gonta, who is sitting seiza-style on his heels. It’d be the right position for riding him if that were in the cards, but Shuuichi would prefer not to think too forwardly.

He wraps his arms around Gonta’s neck, leaning in for another kiss to his lips. **“...I love you,”** he feels the need to tell him, mumbled against his mouth.

Gonta doesn’t know where that came from, but it’s as delightful as ever to hear. He returns the kiss and his smile grows bigger. **“Gonta loves you, too.”**

Instead of saying anything else, Shuuichi kisses him more fervently. His passion succeeds any thought on what he’s doing and he finds himself parting his lips, encouraging Gonta to do the same.

Neither one of them knows how to make out—Gonta wouldn’t even know the term if it were brought up—but they find that their mouths fit well together when open and the rest starts to come naturally. Naturally is not to say perfectly, though — they bump noses once or twice and at one point someone’s saliva manages to escape and go dribbling down their chin, but the worst those mistakes can do is make them giggle. At each other, with each other; it’s all the same.

They’re getting handsy as they get into it, Shuuichi’s fingers entangled in Gonta’s forest of hair and Gonta’s hands resting on Shuuichi’s thighs. The way Gonta keeps whimpering against Shuuichi’s mouth makes him not want to stop kissing him, but eventually they both need to stop in order to catch their breath.

Every pause taken is the same so far — they’re both quiet (save, in this case, for the sound of their breathing), both waiting to see what should happen next. The way they’re looking at each other has grown expectant at this point.

 **“Gonta-kun**...” Shuuichi starts, his eyes looking down to where Gonta’s hands are.

He wants something from those hands, but he can’t ask for it. Even with Gonta’s curious **“huh?”** , Shuuichi can’t bring himself to use his words.

He’s going to think it selfish of himself, but where his words fail him, he supposes he can try and gesture at what he wants. He rests his hand atop one of Gonta’s and gingerly pulls it toward the area between his legs—not enough to actually move it but to suggest where he’d like him to move it.

It’s only when that hand starts to move on its own that Shuuichi lets go of it, biting his lip in anticipation.

 **“Do you want Gonta to touch you there?”** Gonta asks, just to make sure.

As soon as Shuuichi nods his consent, Gonta’s looking down to observe as he moves his hand further inward from where it’s been on the other’s thigh. It’s taking some effort to push through his nerves, but it’s worth it to do something Shuuichi wants him to do. He turns his wrist so his palm is turned upward, then presses with gentle pressure against Shuuichi’s vagina. The size of his hand is more than enough to cup it, feeling its warmth—and vice versa.

Gonta’s palm is incredibly warm and already so good, though all he does is awkwardly rest it there. Shuuichi has to simulate what he wants him to do by dragging his hips forward and back a few times. The pleasure from that alone causes his voice to shake. **“L-like that, please…”**

Now it’s Gonta who’s happy to oblige, despite how hot he feels—how hot the whole _room_ feels. Quiet and obedient, he starts to rhythmically rub his four fingers back and forth. He’s cautiously gentle, as this is not a body part he’s ever touched before, but the pressure he’s applying is enough to spread Shuuichi's folds apart a little more. He can feel his fingers getting wet, which in turn allows them to glide more easily.

 **“Ah…”** Although there’s no individual movement from Gonta’s fingers—he’s keeping his hand so flat and stiff—Shuuichi doesn’t really care. It feels good enough as it is, drawing moans out of slightly parted lips.

Shuuichi has his arms wrapped around Gonta’s neck again, closing his eyes to better focus on the sensation between his legs. He’ll only let it last a moment longer, he thinks to himself. He’ll be neglecting Gonta’s needs if he lets this go on, he thinks to himself...

His thoughts are all lies, as he’ll soon find out.

He can’t bring himself to stop now, and he only wants more.

 **“Gonta-kun…”** It’s the second time he’s said Gonta’s name like that, bringing goosebumps to the bigger man's skin. Shuuichi’s eyes flutter open for just a moment, his hips trying to move in rhythm with Gonta’s hand and grind himself down against it. **“...F-finger me, please…”**

Pleasure gives him the confidence to say such things where he couldn’t before, it would seem. It’s still an embarrassed request, though, if the color of his face is any indication.

 **“Finger…?”** Gonta has to ask, too nervous to hazard a guess as to what that means.

Shuuichi will have to guide him again. Trying not to show his impatience, he reaches down to take hold of Gonta’s hand and stop its movements. **“Nn…”** He’s trying to separate Gonta’s fingers and bend them so that they’re positioned right. **“Just do what you were doing, but… inside. S-sorry, I** — **it feels good, Gonta-kun, I** — **”**

 **“I want you to feel good,”** Gonta cuts Shuuichi’s fumbled apology short, letting him know he doesn’t mind doing this. An apology isn’t something he wants to be hearing from Shuuichi, after all. He leans in to kiss his forehead before proceeding with this next favor he’s been asked to do.

 **“N-no, not all of them!”** Shuuichi gasps, his words chasing a short burst of panic. He could feel Gonta about to push _all_ of his fingers (sans his thumb) inside of him, and as needy as he’s feeling right now, he’s more than certain he can’t take on that many—especially not ones as big as Gonta’s.

Again with the guidance of his own hand, Shuuichi gets him to use two fingers instead.

 **“Sorry,”** Gonta whispers, feeling sweat on his face, before he slowly slides those two fingers in.

Even with the two, Shuuichi can feel himself being stretched. He’s grateful, at first, for the slow pace Gonta is maintaining and the time it gives him to adjust.

This only has Gonta feeling more nervous than he did before, afraid he’s going to forget his strength and hurt Shuuichi from the inside. He’s trying not to focus on just how wet Shuuichi feels around his fingers nor on the hard-to-ignore feeling between his own legs, since what he _should_ be focusing on is the slow and safe pace at which he’s moving… That is, until he’s caught off guard by a single instruction.

 **“Faster… please.”** Shuuichi’s mind may be foggy from all this, but he can still catch on to how nervous Gonta looks. **“Y-you won’t hurt me,”** he decides to add, looking at Gonta with needful eyes. **“I promise.”**

His mind put more at ease, then, Gonta picks up the pace. Those two fingers—index and middle—start moving faster, sliding in up to their knuckles upon each entry.

Shuuichi has given up on any attempt he was previously making to muffle himself, lost to the pleasure. He’s unable to keep his hands still, letting them run down along Gonta’s chest as though they have a mind of their own; up along the sides of his face and into his hair.

At one point he throws his head back and Gonta sees an opportunity to return the favor he’d been given earlier. He leans forward and promptly presses his lips to Shuuichi’s neck, kissing him there. Now half of his focus is owed to doing that and the other to fingering him, which seems to be working swimmingly.

Slender fingers close around green hair and hold onto it, braced for… something. He assumes that something is his climax, but whatever it is, he’s desperately going to chase it. His eyes squeezing shut, he concentrates on this build-up of pleasure and pleads Gonta not to do something he wasn’t planning on doing anyway. **“Please, ah, don’t stop…!”**

It wasn’t made clear what Shuuichi is even referring to, but Gonta’s happy to continue doing both of the things he’s doing. It’s a curious thing to him that Shuuichi seems to be reacting _more_ , squirming and growing louder in volume, but he doesn’t question it. He only keeps pumping his fingers and kissing at the other’s neck until he’s given a clear sign to stop, if at all.

Shuuichi holds onto Gonta’s hair for dear life as his orgasm rocks him, twitching his hips and moaning through sharp breaths. **“Ah** — **f-** ** _fuck_** — **”**

It’s an intense few seconds that Gonta doesn’t know what to make of, but he’s certainly startled by Shuuichi’s language. It’s difficult to tell whether it’s supposed to mean something bad or good, though it is by principle a bad word. As he watches all of his boyfriend’s movements slow to a stop, he wonders if it means he should do the same himself. ****“Shuuichi-kun…?”****

Shuuichi doesn’t answer right away. His legs feel like jelly now so he sits back on his heels (and subsequently on Gonta’s lap), his hands dropping from Gonta’s hair down to his shoulders. **“Mn… You can stop now, Gonta-kun.”**

Which he does. His fingers are soaked once he’s pulled them out and he can’t help looking at them, curious. He doesn’t know what _else_ to do but look, though, so he ultimately leaves them be. **“Gonta’s never heard you swear before,”** he comments in the meantime.

Though still in his afterglow, breathing audibly as his heart hammers in his chest, those words do catch Shuuichi’s attention. He blinks up at Gonta, feeling his face heat up. **“Ah, did I…?”** He knows he did, but it hasn’t entirely _hit_ him that he did until now. **“Sorry, heh, I-I don’t usually…”**

That’s his second apology of the night. In an unofficial competition of politeness between the two, he and Gonta's apology counts are tied.

 ****“It’s okay.”** **Gonta kisses Shuuichi’s forehead a second time and smiles. He has one hand on the small of Shuuichi’s back while the other just… hovers, peculiarly, in the air. He doesn’t want to make a mess of the bed, nor does he want to feel rude by wiping his hand off anywhere. The thought of licking it clean, frankly, does not cross his mind at all, and he’d have a fit of mortification if it did. They _both_ might, actually.

In any case, Shuuichi notices it. As much as he’d like the two of them to stay right where they are, he offers a suggestion that’ll have to force Gonta off of the bed. ****“You can… go wash that off, if you want. I don’t mind.”** **

He’s looking at Gonta’s hand in indication, but as soon as Gonta acknowledges it he’s going to look away in embarrassment.

 **“Oh!”** Gonta pipes up, secretly glad that it was brought up. **“Right.”**

Reluctantly, Shuuichi slides off of Gonta’s lap so he can move.

 **“Be right back,”** Gonta continues, then promptly slips off of the bed. He's about to make his way to the bathroom when he's interrupted .

**"Ah, Gonta-kun?"**

Gonta takes no further steps, turned around to see what Shuuichi wants.

Shuuichi hooks a hand around the back of his own neck, sheepish.  **"I, um... There's a mark on your neck."** He figures he'll let him know about it before he accidentally ends up seeing it in the bathroom mirror.  **"I did that... I-It's nothing serious, it should go away soon..."**

Gonta touches either side of his neck with both hands, since he doesn't even know where the mark is supposed to be. Hickeys are another thing he doesn't know about—and certainly not their territorial implications, so he has no reason to feel embarrassed by it.  **"Oh, that's okay! Gonta won't worry, then."**

He then turns and takes his leave for real.

Shuuichi waits where he is, sitting with his hands between his knees. He’s still thinking about the word he’d said as he climaxed, and how unbecoming it is of him to cuss in front of someone. At least he didn’t _shout_ it, but… _It just slipped out, I swear…_

In the distance, he hears the hiss of a running faucet (Gonta must’ve turned it up too much) followed by silence before Gonta comes walking back in.

He sits in front of Shuuichi with his legs crossed this time, holding both of his hands up to show that they’re clean and dry. One of them has always been clean and dry, but still.

Shuuichi just smiles at that, reaching up to take hold of Gonta’s wrists. He chooses one of those hands to lean in and kiss, pressing his lips right to his lover’s fingertips.

That makes Gonta fluster, as he wasn’t expecting it, but he’s smiling too.

 **“...Oh,”** Gonta then speaks up, sounding as though he’s just remembered something. It cuts their tender moment short, but neither of them seems to mind. **“Gonta forgot to take his glasses off this whole time.”**

Shuuichi was never bothered by that fact, but he isn’t going to stop Gonta from reaching up to take the glasses off.

In fact, seeing him without them now… It makes him look quite handsome. _More_ handsome, he should say. Shuuchi finds himself staring for longer than he’d meant to, charmed by the appearance.

 **“What?”** Gonta asks, catching the other’s staring after he’d folded up and set the glasses aside.

 **“N-nothing.”** Shuuichi answers on reflex, playing innocent. He immediately regrets it, wishing he would've just told Gonta he thinks he looks handsome, but it's too late now. **“Ah… Can you see without them? You don’t have to keep them off, if not.”**

Gonta nods his head, firm in his decision. His glasses have always been a point of aesthetic, not a necessity. ****“Gonta doesn’t need them to see.”** **

****“Alright…”****

Once that’s all out of the way, Shuuichi can’t help but let his eyes travel down. He still feels bad for how long he’s left Gonta hanging, at this point… He’s probably been hard for a while now, and Shuuichi’s pretty sure he’s heard that it’s uncomfortable for people with that genitalia to go too long with an erection. He just hopes it isn’t to the point of hurting. Gonta doesn’t seem to be in pain, though, so perhaps he shouldn’t worry that far. Shuuichi has to admire him for his patience, which he himself has clearly been lacking… but still, if anything, that gives him all the more incentive to return the favor. He’s sure Gonta must want relief, even if he’s too nice to ask for it.

Shuuichi swallows before he speaks again. **“Gonta-kun, do you want to keep going?”**

That isn't a question Gonta was expecting, but it gets him to realize that he was just...expecting them to continue. He didn’t know what would’ve came next, but in any case, he was hoping they weren’t done.

 **“Yes,”** he replies, soft-voiced. **“Of course I’d like more with you…”**

And he’s hardly gotten that extended answer out before Shuuichi’s crawling closer toward him, straddling his lap the same way as before. It’s a little more difficult now with the way Gonta is sitting cross-legged, but they help one another out.

Gonta’s chin is tilted upward to look at him, red eyes big and blinking. Shuuichi says nothing and kisses him.

For reasons he can’t pinpoint, kissing feels even better for Gonta now than it did the last time. He returns it with a little more gusto, his hands finding what seems to be their new favorite place on the other’s hips.

Before they can get too into it, though, Shuuichi pulls away from the kiss. He's peeking down as his hand reaches for something, then wraps around the base of Gonta’s length. For now, that’s all he does.

It’s enough to make Gonta moan out, looking down in surprise. This is a pleasure unlike anything he’s ever felt before, but he hadn’t realized how much he’s been needing it until right now.

Then, to make matters _much_ better, Shuuichi slides his hand up toward the tip in a single stroke. Once like that, and then once more back down to the base.

Gonta’s back arches, his eyes slipping shut until he realizes that’s all he’s getting. They flutter open again and he looks back down to see why Shuuichi has stopped.

Still without saying anything, Shuuichi is using his hold on Gonta’s cock and positioning himself just so that its tip is at his opening.

Nothing happens yet. They look at each other and in that moment, the two of them are as one — their hearts beat at the same anxious pace and they both very much want each other. The lust they’re sharing is less familiar a feeling than love, but they both recognize that all they want to do is act on it.

Removing his hand from where it is, then, Shuuichi begins to sink himself down. The girth he’s dealing with is clear-cut, and he’s still a bit sensitive from his earlier orgasm (although not to a point of pain), so he goes slowly for his own sake.

The initial feeling of it envelopes he and Gonta both in entirely new sensations.

This is certainly larger for Shuuichi than two fingers, but it’s oddly good—being stretched and feeling himself adjust. He goes down as far as he thinks he can and sits there for a short duration, biting his lip and holding onto Gonta’s shoulders.

And for Gonta, it’s a dirty thought to think, but feeling Shuuichi this way is even better than feeling him with his fingers. Even so, he’s having a hard time even wrapping his mind around the feeling—it’s overwhelming, but in an incredible way. Shuuichi’s still wet from what they did before and it’s _all around him._ It's all he can focus on.

They’ve only just started, but his body’s telling him he needs more.

He soon finds that his hands’ position on Shuuichi’s hips is advantageous in helping him move, keeping him steady. He moves in a similar way to how Gonta’s fingers were before—up and down, in and almost all the way out, picking up speed as he goes.

 **“Shuuichi-kun** — **”** Gonta whines the other’s name, no less noisy than he’s being. It’s taking a certain amount of effort not to force Shuuichi’s hips down, since he _could_ if he wanted to, and he _does,_ but he can’t bring himself to. He's still holding on to a shred of self-restraint, for now.

Instead, although it isn't much more than an alternate means of taking control, he leans forward and eases Shuuichi back with the intention of laying him down. Their intercourse is put on hold while Gonta rearranges himself to settle on his knees, the rest of his body hovering over his lover's.

He looks, in that moment,  _very_ big. The bulk of his muscles and the strength in his arms are all laid out on display, a testament to how he could just take Shuuichi and use him like a toy if he so wished, but Shuuichi knows he never would. The comfort of that fact makes his heart swell.

This is what he wanted, though—for Gonta to try taking control. Shuuichi has both his arms and his legs wrapped around him, helped by the way Gonta (gently) grabs his thighs and spreads them apart enough to fit himself between them. The entomologist is whimpering as though their short pause had left him desperate, lifting his boyfriend's hips a few inches off the bed before he slides back into him. The reinsertion is done with more force than Shuuichi was expecting, making him gasp.

Within moments, though, pleasure reacquaints with both of them.

Gonta finds his rhythm and lets go of Shuuichi's legs, planting both hands on the bed and digging his fingers into the mattress. His hair hangs over Shuuichi as though it were a veil, through which they can only see—in short bursts where their eyes are not closed—each other's faces; each show of satisfaction in their expressions and each spill of breath from open mouths.

Neither one of them is going to last much longer, but they make the most of what time they have — and wish, somewhere in the back of their minds, that it would go on forever. Shuuichi hangs onto Gonta all the while, his fingernails digging into the skin on his shoulder blades in some attempt to brace himself. The strength in Gonta's body makes for powerful thrusts, slipping in moderation as he gets further lost in the feeling of it all; of what they're doing and of the sounds they're making, both with their voices and their bodies. Shuuichi feels like he's being driven into the bed but shows no sign of disliking it. 

Eventually their eyes stay shut and they both allow the selfishness of focusing on themselves, if only for a moment. Gonta hears his name on his lover's tongue over and over as he picks up his pace, owing all of his efforts to chasing one incredible feeling. 

They both do until, one after the other, they're seeing stars behind their eyelids. It's an exquisite high that comes as soon as it goes, sapping them—Shuuichi most of all—of their breath and energy. 

The detective's entire body feels hot with sweat now, loosening the vice he has around Gonta until his limbs drop flat upon the bed. He's panting, basking, thoroughly exhausted from not one but two orgasms tonight. 

It feels as though several minutes pass before either one of them does anything, each one spent listening to each other pant and sharing a quiet disbelief over what they've just done. Gonta finally pulling out makes them both wince from the discomfort of it, but it does prompt Shuuichi to look up and check on him. 

 **"Hey..."** he says, reaching up to take Gonta's face into his hands. As soon as Gonta looks at him, he repeats himself with a reassuring smile. **"Hey. Are you okay?"**

Gonta's feeling significantly less exhausted than Shuuichi is right now, and it's more or less his own disbelief that's causing hesitation.  **"W-we..."** he starts and seemingly forgets to finish, peeking down to see what a mess he's made of his boyfriend. A peek is all he'll allow himself, though—enough to see that it is, in fact, a mess of fluids from both of them before he hurriedly looks up.  **"Shuuichi-kun, we just..."**...did  _that_ , is essentially what he's getting at here.

Shuuichi waits a few beats to see if he'll finish, but he guesses he'll have to work those words out himself.  **"Yeah, we did. Are you sure you're okay?"**

 **"Gonta... G-Gonta's more than okay!"** Gonta replies, seeming to break out of the stupor he'd put himself in. He sits back on his heels, grabbing and forcing Shuuichi up with him—if only to embrace him. 

Shuuichi can't help but gasp at this burst of energy, honestly a little impressed by Gonta's stamina. It makes him laugh, though, now that he's suddenly in Gonta's lap again with the big man's arms wrapped around him. On the downside he can feel himself kind of  _leaking_ at the moment, but he's trying to ignore that. 

 **"Ah, Gonta-kun—"** He leans back enough to get a look at his face, shocked to silence upon seeing that there are tears in his eyes.

 **"Gonta showed you how much he loves you with his body! Did you feel it?"** Gonta asks, suddenly impassioned. His eyes are indeed watery, though the tears are clearing away the more he blinks.

 _Feel it?_ Shuuichi felt a number of things, and although he can guess what specific thing Gonta is getting at, this reaction of his is still a lot to take in.  **"O-Of course I did,"** he answers, despite that. His arms slip around Gonta in a belated return of his embrace.  **"I wanted you to feel the same thing."**

 **"I did!"** Gonta's quick to reassure him, hugging him tighter now. So much for the tears clearing away—they're starting to spill out and fall now, streaking down his cheeks.  **"Thank you, Shuuichi-kun."**

 _I-Is he really...?_ Shuuichi lets himself stay like this for a while, but he realizes that if he thinks too hard about someone actually  _crying_ because they feel so much love for him, he might start getting choked up himself. It isn't necessarily _bad_ of him, but goodness, Gonta's always a lot to handle. That may just be something that never changes...

He tries to move in a way that suggests Gonta loosens his hold, which doesn't happen. In that case, he'll just use his words.  **"Gonta-kun, we should probably clean up now. And, ah... well, I think... a-after sex, people are supposed to use the bathroom, too."**

 **"Huh?"** Gonta's never heard of that before, but come to think of it, there aren't a lot of things he knows about sex at all. So, he'll assume Shuuichi knows what he's talking about.  **"Oh, okay."**

Finally letting Shuuichi go, Gonta reaches up and wipes his own face.  **"How should we clean up?"**

**"Well, we could... draw a bath before turning in for the night, if you want. Are you sleepy?"**

Gonta shakes his head.  **"No."**

 _Ah, of course not..._ Shuuichi thinks in amusement. Maybe if the bath is warm and nice enough, though, it'll make him sleepy.  **"Well, anyway, let's get up."**

They detach from one another and get their feet on the floor, Gonta walking a pace ahead of Shuuichi as they head to the bathroom. Along the way, Shuuichi spots yet another mark on Gonta's body—several, on his back this time. They're scratches, more than likely left by his own fingernails... 

He feels a pang of regret, but only for those (and the hickey).

Come the next time, he'll have to work on being less destructive.


End file.
